The problem with questions is that they often go unanswered. We ask questions and either don’t wait for an answer or we don’t search for one. Our children ask questions and we ignore them or hope that they will go away. Obviously, this is not true for all children or for all parents. Many of us strive to answer our children’s questions, but let’s face it: Sometimes we’re tired. What’s even more revealing is that as our children grow into maturity, we have to admit we don’t have all of the answers. Sometimes, we just don’t know, and that’s okay.
I have been struck recently with how much information my junkies are craving that I just don’t have. I have told my children on more than one occasion :
contrary to popular belief, moms are not omniscient.
Instead of answering, trying to answer, or inventing all of the answers for my students’ questions, I try to point them in a direction to find the answer. But first, I encourage them to think. Think about it. Take some time to process both what you’re asking and what you think the answer may be. Did you know that close to 50% of the connections in a person’s brain are pruned during the adolescent years? When our young adults are struggling to recall a concept from 4th grade math or their logic seems to be offline, just remember their brain is reformatting. Literally. It takes time to reformat a brain!
Give your child time to think about what she is supposed to be studying. Don’t force her to come up with answers right away. Asking her to instantly perform is not only an anxiety producer, but inconsiderate of her very physiology. It’s like insisting that our iphone take a call while updating. It’s not going to happen.
How do we answer the great questions? We think. We take time. We process. Sometimes that means we draw, we sing, we seclude ourselves in the dark closet, and we take the time to sit at the feet of the Master.
This is a fascinating article on the brains of our adolescents: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3982854/