Work in Progress

I have a confession. As an older parent, I find myself becoming, what my oldest son would call, lenient. This digression was something I disliked in my own parents. Instead of rectifying my behavior though, I've found myself analyzing the change and seeking to understand what's happening. My confession is this: I'm mostly okay with it. Here's why: 

Reason 1 : Good Family Culture

I've learned that setting up a family culture is essential and happens mostly when our children are young. I had a mother tell me when my oldest was a toddler that the devil wanted my firstborn. What a terrifying thought this was for me. However, as I look back on my children's younger years I can see that my oldest son helped set that family culture for better or worse. The culture that includes the freedom to voice your concerns and opinions with respect. The culture that has my youngest playing cards with his father right now while my third son cooks dinner. The culture that does the hard work and learns the hard truths. The culture that starts each day with prayer and the word of God.  This family culture is set early on. This is the boundary. I don't need to be as strict because we are in the rut of good habits and those are hard to leave. 

Reason 2 : Education

We are classical educators, which means that I'm more concerned with teaching my children to seek God in everything. It means that we seek the truth, goodness, and beauty of our Creator. We don't learn in order to get into a good college, get a high paying job, or be smart. If career aptitude was our main educational goal, then my children would be competitive in the market by age 13. Then what? Hence my lenience. They know how to learn. They can learn anything they want. They want to learn. I don't need to push them as much as I thought that I needed to. In college, which I went to for teaching, I was told that it's easier to start the year off strict and lighten up as the year goes on. Turns out that parenting seems to work this way too. My children know what our family expectations are, so they take their own education seriously and we all learn together to the glory of God. 

Before you assume that we are perfect, please understand that there are plenty of things that I am constantly trying to fix. We haven't spend the time on latin that I'd like us to for one, and that's on me. I'm constantly facing my own limitations, but I've learned that I need to embrace them, be honest about the struggle, and trust God. While my oldest son may see our failure to study latin as a sign of my lenience, I see it as a reminder that I'm still a work in progress too.