When our children develop interests outside of our area of experience, we are presented with a unique opportunity: the opportunity to become a student of the student of ourselves. I'll never forget the day I brought my son to a flea market - he was frantically searching for a die set of a particular caliber. As he wandered up and down the crowded aisles like a squirrel searching for his acorns, I was left standing in bewilderment. Completely in the dark, I blurted "I'm still learning this vocabulary, can you please explain it to me?" My son, to his infinite credit, responded with patience and kindness as he tried to explain in simplest terms what I should be looking for among the piles of stuff. Standing at that market, I was thrust into the role of student.
What exactly does it take to become a child's student?
- Humility - As with our children learning a new skill, we have to admit that we don't already know everything. We may admit verbally that we don't know everything, but do we act like we know everything? Some of us have spent so many years answering questions, that we've started acting like we know all of the answers. Therefore, our first step to learning from our child is to humble ourselves and prepare ourselves for learning something new.
- Time - Everything takes time. Be prepared to spend some time listening, asking questions, and even taking notes for later review. This is a great opportunity to not just learn, but model how to learn. (Be cautious that you don't simply turn it into a lesson for them on how to learn though, that's scheming and your kids can smell that nonsense a mile away). While you're reviewing the "lesson" they gave you, follow up later with other questions to show interest.
- Patience - Every human interaction requires patience. Your child's teaching skills are going to be limited. Give them grace. They're going to need to practice. Give them grace. You're not going to remember everything they said. Give yourself grace. Despite your child's failure to be a teaching prodigy, you will learn a lot by listening and being patient. Resist the temptation to try to teach him how to teach. It's okay to let him crawl before he walks.
- Love - It goes without saying that you love your child. You should still tell them. Also, there's a good chance that you have no interest in your child's interest. Newsflash: It isn't about you. If you aren't particularly interested in reptiles or guns, that's okay. Your child learns things in your homeschool that he also isn't interested in too. Remember, your motivation for this entire activity is relationship. You love your child, so you are interested in his hobby. That's it. No further reason necessary.
We will never regret building a relationship with our children by humbling ourselves and patiently learning from them.