A few years ago, my husband and I tried to find a hobby that we enjoyed doing together. You've probably tried this too. Our children were getting older, old enough to leave home for an hour or so, and we wanted to find something that we liked doing together. One of our parenting goals is to continue to like each other when our children move out. Discovering a hobby that we both enjoyed seemed like a perfect solution.
What did we find that we both liked? Dreaming. Planning, Scheming. We are both Enneagram ones and love to solve problems. We love to brainstorm how to make something better. We try not to wallow in the failure of something, but rather focus on how to perfect it. This can be extremely fun, but also very distressing, especially when everything goes awry.
Hopefully, we've passed this love of dreaming onto our children without the need for perfection, because we love to hear their dreams too. In fact, we love to encourage them to think about where they are going. We don't use the term "teenager" in our house, but rather "young man", because we focus on what they are becoming and not what the world says they are. We ask our guys questions like:
"What makes a man a man?"
"What would you do all day if you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted?"
"What do you want to be as a human?"
"What skills do you think you need?"
Creating goals is great and everything, but the best goals come from our dreams. They come from our interests and abilities. So, before creating a list of goals for the end of the high school years - spend some time to dream with your kids. Hear their thoughts, and see their hearts.