Few things prepare me for the day more than knowing the day's agenda. I like to know what to expect, what is expected of me, and how to proceed. Clear plans and directions make me happy. Few things cause me stress like an unorganized work party. It is not surprising to discover then, that my children also like to know the day's plans. In fact, one of the easiest ways to ease the stress of a child is to set clear boundaries and expectations. With toddlers, we did this by creating physical boundaries. With teenagers, we do this by creating relational boundaries.
Implementing a clear structure and schedule for the school day is a great way to provide security to both our younger and older students. Some common cultural idioms in my house have come from this: "work first, play later" and "pray hard, work hard, trust God", for example. Or maybe your children know what your answer to a question will be before they ask it? In my home, the question, "can we watch a movie?" is always answered with a question, "Is your room clean?" My children know the expectations because we've spent years setting them. In this, they find comfort, because they know what to expect.
Before I proceed, let me clarify what I am not talking about. I am not advocating for getting a large white board with grid lines and hour by hour distinctions that you fill in for each and every hour. You know what I mean: Math at 9, literature at 10, writing at 11... stress out you fell behind at 2, and no room for creativity at 3. This is not a system created for success. Rather, I'm advocating for a clear list of expectations and communication.
In my home, we accomplish this by having a list of things to do each day. My children in fact have a task for math, literature, writing, etc for each day, but they may choose in which order to complete them. When you start to panic that your child will choose legos over school, remember my family's idiom "work first, play later". No one plays legos until school is complete.
How do we get started creating a schedule that leaves room for margin, creativity, and success? Start strong. Start together. Start with a symposium.
Here's my family's general schedule for a typical school day:
7:15 : report to living room for symposium
start school work, breakfast, etc
break for lunch somewhere in the middle, but maybe just eat while working. Whatever you want.
finish school assignments in the afternoon sometime, once finished go play with friends, do chores, or work on projects.
6:00 - 7:00 pm : eat dinner as a family.
wind down with reading in room or hanging with siblings.
You'll notice how incredibly open our schedule seems. Did you notice the items with times though? The beginning and ending of the day, everyone is expected to come together as a family for symposium and again for dinner. In these times, we have boundaries and securities. Everyone knows that complaints, requests, schedule changes, field trips, decisions, or general testimonies will be shared at those times. Don't underestimate the power of family dinners and time together with clear boundaries. Even our oldest children feel loved, grounded, and successful when they have a place at the table.