Man is by nature self-focused. If we didn't have a higher calling than ourselves, we would all become narcissistic. It is no surprise to us that our children are self-centered. We have spoken about ways to combat our self-focused natures through volunteering, helping the poor, giving of our time and things, and serving in our local church. Perhaps one of the most basic habits that we can encourage in our children to combat selfishness is the habit of paying attention to things outside of ourselves.
How do we teach our children to pay attention to their surroundings?
First, we start small. By asking the toddler to keep the dog's water bowl filled we are asking her to think outside of herself. For young children starting in small ways to serve around them is a good way to build observation skills.
Second, we talk about the why. I am always reminding my guys to leave a room, desk, couch, table, garage, or porch the way that it should be. Not the way they found it! Rather, the way that it needs to be to be ready for the next person. We talk about how we respect each other by leaving the end table ready for the next person's book, water, or tea. This benefits us all as we each gain the peace of arriving at the couch to discover the pillows waiting, the table clear for our drink, and the room clean. This takes years to build, by the way, so don't get discouraged if you're still saying the same things next year.
Third, we turn it into a game. When we leave a public place, I ask questions of my kids like: "did you see the carpet changed halfway across the room?" or "how many librarians were at the desk today?" Before we go in, sometimes I'll ask them to look for one thing that seems odd to them and then share it after we leave. This "game" helps remind them to pay attention to their surroundings and think outside of themselves.
I once heard that the difference between a great thinker and the average man is that a man enters a room and thinks, "this is nice" while a great thinker thinks, "I wonder why they set this up like this? I wonder how it could be better?..."
Teaching these observation skills can be a lot of fun, but are also just one more way that we integrate parenting and educating in our everyday lives and help our children mature into self-less great thinkers!
This is AMAZING!! It was both helpful and convicting- for my own life!! Thank you for writing this!