Happy independence day. Well, that was the sentiment I passed on to my eleven-year-old when I finally decided to relinquish my obsessive need to oversee every operation that went on in the kitchen, and allow her the freedom to make herself a hot breakfast at whim. As exhausting as the years were of tying every shoe, zipping every coat, and carrying every child, I am surprised to find that giving them independence is harder.
It’s a good feeling to know that my children are capable, but what if you constantly restrict them because you are more capable? It is a slow learning curve for me, but a worth-while endeavor. My incessant need to have little to no mistakes made that would hinder the efficiency and outcome of any given project is an utter waste of time. Remember in Cheaper By The Dozen, how the father timed everyone, and was constantly on patrol looking for chinks in the chain? If you haven’t read that book, I would encourage you to, it is a joy to read, and a swift conviction for those of us hovering too close to the ground.
But beyond the challenges of letting our children “do for themselves” are the greater benefits and important life-lessons for them. They need to know they give a valuable contribution to their family, and they also need to know that hard work is its own reward, lest they become entitled. Surely, after awhile my daughter’s sudden extreme desire for eggs, every...single...morning will wane, but it is a comfort to know that she is skilled in the kitchen, and no longer blissfully unaware of the mess eggs can make of a cast iron skillet if you don’t do it right.
Some apron strings need to be cut, and some need to be tied.